The In-Between:Confession

"I found myself in this horrifying deep dark hole upon which I dug an inch every time I spoke. Of course I knew I had to do something before it was too late, but for some reason I could not find the way out. That, right there, was the huge abyss in which I found myself everyday before going to sleep. That, right there, was the "thing" that tucked me into bed every night. That, right there, helped me find the courage to finally tell him how much I love him. That, right there, brought me to where I am right now...

Since then it is obvious that everything is different. I remember clearly how I it did. Not that I am proud of it though (phone call) but it was the only possible way. I will tell you later why. Anyway, here is the story. It was a Friday and after a normal day of school, me and a group of friends(including him) decided to go to the movies. Everything was going pretty well. Popcorn, candy, soda, laughs, and Friendship. Everything like it should be. But I knew something had my chest tight and it was that thing that I had to say to him. So, after the movie was over we  "hanged out" in a store. I suddenly had a bipolar state( FYI I am not bipolar) as crazy as it might sound and I started sending him texts like  "Go away".

I was staying at my friends house that night and when her mom came to pick us up, I text him to call me when he get home but he instead asked me on a text if he could call me. That, right there, was The Moment I think I was waiting for. I reply back late because my friend and I were having a "party" all by ourselves and before I realized it, I had my third glass of vodka in one hand and my phone on the other. Yes, we were talking. Yes, I answered his text with a "yes". Yes, I was nervous. And yes, I confessed.

After a long chit chat(  until 4am.) in between he told me that he knew. I do not blame him. It was obvious, but he had to admit that sometimes I confused him. I made it clear to him that I was not expecting the same back and that I did not wanted for our friendship to be affected by this.But I had to let it out. Nobody knew and who better than the man I loved to be the first one to be notified. And I made him promise me that he was not going to tell.

It was a long weekend and we did not talked until Sunday. I can't quit remember who text who first but I do remember that I convinced my friend to go to the movies. I though it was going to be better if we saw each other outside of school after the confession. To be honest with you, I thought that he was not going, but he did! Yes there was a little tension and awkwardness but it was normal. We ate candy, we laughed, we talked, and we looked at each other. Since then, our communication improved but most importantly felt confident.

There was still many things to talk about but we had to be patient and by we I mean me. But I could not let it be long. I had to act fast..."

This is just a piece of a really big puzzle. Trust me, BIG. Even here, there are things I have not told you.But, just so you know, this is not the beginning of it all nor the end; it is kind of the in-between. Just a small part of it...